Today I did something amazing for me anyways. This may seem really trivial but I faced one of my major fears. I met someone of the internet (women obviously).
I have social anxiety disorder which basically in a nutshell means I get really anxious, stressed, scared all the emotions associated with socialising and meeting people. My main worries are that people will judge me negatively, fear of people watching me, scared I will freeze and have nothing to say. That the people will stare at me. Not to mention my hatred of being centre of attention (I have hated I was a small child) even getting Christmas presents and having to open them up in front of people left me so much dread.
Anyway, someone on my instagram who lives in the same area wanted to meet for a cuppa and chat. After speaking to my hubby I said yes though my stomach was chunning. I was OK for the next few days but my anxiety was gradually building up. The day before my anxiety was through the roof the day before. I was very short fused with my husband and hardly slept that night. I constantly was seeking reassurance of my husband asking all types of questions, what happens if they hate me? What happens if everyone is starring at me? What happens if I freeze up and have nothing to say?
My husband has been my rock and he encourages me to be independent and go for it. He helped me by reminding me of the positives and the fact that I’ve been in situations before so it is nothing that I have not experienced before.
Well the day arrived and after two dizapam I meet up with this lady at the coffee shop and though I was nervous and apprehensive I felt completely comfortable and at ease with her and her family members. I also sensed a relief and felt good that I did not give up at the fitst hurdle. I am glad that I did not cave in when I had dealts and managed to see the challenge all the way to the end. I am glad I did as it has really made me feel a bit more confident and who knows I may one day go to one of them blogging events but not yet as I feel like it is way out of my league with the others who seem more professional.
But the situation was a success and a baby step forward.
Cheers for reading XX