Constructive ways to manage parental burnout

Hey readers,

This week I have been really burnout and depressed. I feel alone and somewhat embarrassed even scared to talk to my partner about worries I constantly have as a failure at being a mother. It does not help that I am being judged by external services with being autistic that overtime parionona and and anxiety have built up causing it to interference with my day to day life.
I will be honest it scares me to be open about this but one thing that I found helpful was reading other people’s account and getting that sense of solidarity. I have got social anxiety therefore naturally inclined to worry a lot about people’s judgements and fear of failure in front of others. It does not help that we live in a society where mental illness is frowned upon. I’ve experienced it myself which makes you even more scared and you get caught in a trap. So all the blogs and information out there on the internet I am so glad that people are brave to talk about mental health issues.
Anyhow, I am concentrating on ways to help me and thought I would share some of the tools that have helped ease the pressure and reduce the risk of . Not saying that it will cure but it might help reduce the ‘burnout’ that your experiencing.

  1. Get in the mode of being good enough, setting a lower bench mark makes you feel more relaxed, less pressured and from my own personal experience you then get to enjoy the experience rather then worry and get in a state about meeting this unrealistic ideal.
  2. Perfectionism is something I struggle with especially in terms of my image of a parents. It is about being realistic and knowing what is achieveable. Also learning about moderation and not going from one extreme to the next but being aware that it is OK for instance if the tellys on. Plus the telly has actually helped with my sons speech development and made improvements.
  3. Learn to relax which is one of the hardest things to do. I am one of those catastrophic thinker and find anything to get anxious about. I have found that not reading newspapers, articles or the news relating to childhood. I found it hard as it is not black and white and so many varibles that influence behaviour. That does not me from focusing on just the one element rather then looking at the whole situation. It has resulted in me getting obsessive to an unnatural amount. Sometimes ignorance is bliss and if i am that worried i speak ro jy health visiotor. I have found to focus my time on reading books or trash magazines, colouring in grow up adult books (cause I’m cool) and focus on walking. All these distraction techniques have helped me relax and not be so obsessive ability my parental anxieties. It is good to have something other then parent related activities in your life as it gives you change to think about others and reduce the stress. 
  4. Identify the positivites as it just makes you feel good. It is so important in make sure you are aware of the good in life. It can be hard to do as you can get caught up in the spiral of negative thinking. I have brought a line a day diary  that is kept next to my bed so that I can write something positive. Even if it is just one word thatt is a starting point. 
  5. Know your not alone, parenting can be very isolating especially with mental health issues. Just reading blogs or looking on specific websites knowing your not alone and other people have experienced what you have gone through.
  6. Make time for you even if it is just 10 minutes a day, it will do you the world of good as you are doing something for you and not anyone We all need a break from time to time. 

Thanks for reading X

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16 thoughts on “Constructive ways to manage parental burnout

  1. There are days when I feel like I am a terrible parents, particularly when I am tried and feel like I am holding it on by a thread – I agree with you just a small amount of 'me' time makes a massive amount of difference. I hope things get easier for you x

    #thelist

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  2. I loved this, especially number 1. The “good enough” concept was a bit of a game changer for me, not just for parenting but in life in general. I have mental health issues and I think a lot of us in this boat feel that because of being already on the back foot a bit we need to be perfect to compensate. And no one is. Trying to be so just sets us up for a fall and in the meantime we miss the things we are good at, and all the positives that are happening in the moment.

    I wish you the best.

    #brilliantblogposts

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  3. Sorry to hear of the tough time you are having. That can't be easy. I'll be thinking of you. Your final point spoke to me loud and clear; I can be awful at making time for myself. #twinklytuesday

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  4. You are so brave to talk about something so real and difficult. I have struggled with some of the same things, being a first time stay-at-home mom. I have found that making time to do something for myself has really helped. Good luck and God bless! #twinklytuesday

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  5. Thank you for this – I was immediately drawn to this on the #twinklytuesday link because I've felt like this the last couple of days. Not depressed per say but completely burnt out – so exhausted by it all that I've felt like I need a week to sleep and recuperate before I can carry on. I've found myself getting really worked up at the silliest things. Your steps are really helpful – it's really all about mindfulness I think – I just need to take a step back sometimes and really look at the bigger picture 🙂

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  6. I think we definitely all have days where we feel like bad parents (I had that tonight) but it must be even harder when already being scrutinised. I hope that your list helps you to remember that you are a fab parent and that you have nothing to worry about. It's also great that you can let it all out on here 🙂 Thanks so much for linking up with #TwinklyTuesday

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  7. So true – if you beat yourself up about everything that goes wrong or work yourself to the bone trying to be perfect you'll just end up making everything worse. Reflect on what has happened and move on. And try not to make the same mistakes tooooooooo many times 🙂 #TwinklyTuesday

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  8. Great post and it's so wonderful to hear how much information and support you have found through blogging. Day to day can be bloody hard on your own, not least with mental illness but remember what an amazing job you are doing! We all need reminding at times and I think many of your tips are relevant for all mums when we hit the tougher times. thanks for linking up to #TheList xx

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