This week I have been really burnout and depressed. I feel alone and somewhat embarrassed even scared to talk to my partner about worries I constantly have as a failure at being a mother. It does not help that I am being judged by external services with being autistic that overtime parionona and and anxiety have built up causing it to interference with my day to day life.
I will be honest it scares me to be open about this but one thing that I found helpful was reading other people’s account and getting that sense of solidarity. I have got social anxiety therefore naturally inclined to worry a lot about people’s judgements and fear of failure in front of others. It does not help that we live in a society where mental illness is frowned upon. I’ve experienced it myself which makes you even more scared and you get caught in a trap. So all the blogs and information out there on the internet I am so glad that people are brave to talk about mental health issues.
Anyhow, I am concentrating on ways to help me and thought I would share some of the tools that have helped ease the pressure and reduce the risk of . Not saying that it will cure but it might help reduce the ‘burnout’ that your experiencing.
- Get in the mode of being good enough, setting a lower bench mark makes you feel more relaxed, less pressured and from my own personal experience you then get to enjoy the experience rather then worry and get in a state about meeting this unrealistic ideal.
- Perfectionism is something I struggle with especially in terms of my image of a parents. It is about being realistic and knowing what is achieveable. Also learning about moderation and not going from one extreme to the next but being aware that it is OK for instance if the tellys on. Plus the telly has actually helped with my sons speech development and made improvements.
- Learn to relax which is one of the hardest things to do. I am one of those catastrophic thinker and find anything to get anxious about. I have found that not reading newspapers, articles or the news relating to childhood. I found it hard as it is not black and white and so many varibles that influence behaviour. That does not me from focusing on just the one element rather then looking at the whole situation. It has resulted in me getting obsessive to an unnatural amount. Sometimes ignorance is bliss and if i am that worried i speak ro jy health visiotor. I have found to focus my time on reading books or trash magazines, colouring in grow up adult books (cause I’m cool) and focus on walking. All these distraction techniques have helped me relax and not be so obsessive ability my parental anxieties. It is good to have something other then parent related activities in your life as it gives you change to think about others and reduce the stress.
- Identify the positivites as it just makes you feel good. It is so important in make sure you are aware of the good in life. It can be hard to do as you can get caught up in the spiral of negative thinking. I have brought a line a day diary that is kept next to my bed so that I can write something positive. Even if it is just one word thatt is a starting point.
- Know your not alone, parenting can be very isolating especially with mental health issues. Just reading blogs or looking on specific websites knowing your not alone and other people have experienced what you have gone through.
- Make time for you even if it is just 10 minutes a day, it will do you the world of good as you are doing something for you and not anyone We all need a break from time to time.
Thanks for reading X