This week I have been really burnout and depressed. I feel alone and somewhat embarrassed even scared to talk to my partner about worries I constantly have a failure at being a mother. It does not help that I am being judged by external services with being autistic that overtime paranoia and anxiety have built up causing it to interference with my day to day life.
I will be honest it scares me to be open about this but one thing that I found helpful was reading other people’s account and getting that sense of solidarity. I have got social anxiety therefore naturally inclined to worry a lot about people’s judgements and fear of failure in front of others. It does not help that we live in a society where mental illness is frowned upon. I’ve experienced it myself which makes you even more scared and you get caught in a trap. So all the blogs and information out there on the internet I am so glad that people are brave to talk about mental health issues.
Anyhow, I am concentrating on ways to help me and thought I would share some of the tools that have helped ease the pressure and reduce the risk of. Not saying that it will cure but it might help reduce the ‘burnout’ that you’re experiencing.
- Get in the mode of being good enough, setting a lower benchmark makes you feel more relaxed, less pressured and from my own personal experience, you then get to enjoy the experience rather than worry and get in a state about meeting this unrealistic ideal.
- Perfectionism is something I struggle with especially in terms of my image of parents. It is about being realistic and knowing what is achievable. Also learning about moderation and not going from one extreme to the next but being aware that it is OK for instance if the telly on. Plus the telly has actually helped with my son’s speech development and made improvements.
- Learn to relax which is one of the hardest things to do. I am one of those catastrophic thinkers and find anything to get anxious about. I have found that not reading newspapers, articles or the news relating to childhood. I found it hard as it is not black and white and so many variables that influence behaviour. That does not me from focusing on just the one element rather than looking at the whole situation. It has resulted in me getting obsessive to an unnatural amount. Sometimes ignorance is bliss and if I am that worried I speak to the health visitor. I have found to focus my time on reading books or trash magazines, colouring in grow up adult books (cause I’m cool) and focus on walking. All these distraction techniques have helped me relax and not be so obsessive ability my parental anxieties. It is good to have something other than parent related activities in your life as it gives you chance to think about others and reduce the stress.
- Identify the positives as it just makes you feel good. It is so important to make sure you are aware of the good in life. It can be hard to do as you can get caught up in the spiral of negative thinking. I have brought a line a day diary that is kept next to my bed so that I can write something positive. Even if it is just one word that is a starting point.
- Know you’re not alone, parenting can be very isolating especially with mental health issues. Just reading blogs or looking on specific websites knowing you’re not alone and other people have experienced what you have gone through.
- Make time for you even if it is just 10 minutes a day, it will do you the world of good as you are doing something for you and not anyone We all need a break from time to time.
- I think communication especially when it involved partners is so important, but it can be difficult. So, why not try couples counselling online, convenient and beneficial to help make better choices when it comes to parenting with a partner. Regain.usexplain more in this article.
Thanks for reading X