Ongoing minefield of parenting

Hey readers,

Sometimes I lie in my bed at four in the morning and I am just staring at the ceiling and my tummy is filled with dread. My thoughts are filled with fear and I wonder how I am going to get through another day as a parent.

I don’t feel confident at all and I am always questioning everything. Sometimes, I get annoyed with my husband, how he could allow me to be a parent when I am totally useless. I am always tired and things seem to take a long time to master. I seem to make the same mistakes over and over again.

I am now sitting in my son’s assembly hall waiting and feeling yet again that familiar feeling of being a true outcast or black sheep. This feeling is not new to me, it comes frequently where I feel like I am an outsider looking through the glass where I just can’t reach through. It feels so close yet so far away.

There are other times when I get jealous of my husband, he can just get things and communicate really well. I am sitting back permanently struggling and my tummy is in knots with anxiety. He does try to understand my neurosis bless him but he is the complete opposite of me. I watch on as he mingles and just gets these social rules that I seem to get muddled and fail all the time. I just get things, or I am just anxious state of a person. That is one good thing about summer holidays even though I am dealing with the change but not having to think. I over analysis I know but at least it gives me a break where I don’t have to feel completely sh*t again. I know I will never be one of them, good parents that I so desperately want to be, I mess up it is a natural talent of mine. I just get so fed up with it all and after takes its time. It hurts deep and it so damn frustrating. It is a minefield and just getting through the day is a challenge in its self. The thoughts that trigger me are so strong, they keep me awake and let me everytime my downfalls. I just need to a breather, time away and not to think that would be totally blissful.

I remember when I was pregnant dreaming of being this type of parent that would swim into motherhood like flies to poo. Sadly, it hasn’t happened, to delusion, I am nothing that I expected. I thought I would be good at communicating because I was living this role as a mother that it would all somehow come to place. That I would have this maternal instinct. The only thing that I am good at it appears to be is hanging up the washing and creating random fun stories for my boy. It is not much, I am never good at small talk but I take it now and I got to learn to accept the situation for what it is.

Cheers for reading my ramblings X

Reasons to blog

Hey readers,

I have been blogging for over three years now and feel that some experience of this whole blogging malarky. If you have never blogged let me enlighten you as to why you should consider, as there are many positives attached to being a blogger.

Creativity.

Firstly, blogging can allow you to be creative. You don’t have to be a niche but if you want to that is cool because it will be your blog. Blogging can be about anything, it is diverse in the blogging world. You can literally write about anything from domestic abuse to reasons to eat baked beans. It is a great tool for creativity and a way to express yourself to the world.

Therapy.

When I started blogging it was a distraction as I was going through some personal trauma. Blogging also helped me write down my feelings and express myself. I have autism and really struggle with verbal and trying to work out how I feel. With blogging, I can take my time and ponder. Blogging has helped me express myself when I maybe wouldn’t have. Writing has helped me grow in confidence with working out how I feel and exploring reasons why I respond in the way that I do.

Spread awareness.

One positive about blogging is it can help raise awareness of a message you want to spread. Blog posts are fantastic as they are from the individual rather than an organisation. They are personal and tend to be raw, making it feel more real in a sense. Blogging is a platform to get your voice out there, anyone can read it and it isn’t edited like professionals and I think that is one of the best things about blogs is that they tend to be first-hand accounts. I have always loved when exploring topics to reach out to the first-hand account as it feels real, people have lived it and know what they are talking about.

You learn about yourself.

I think exploring yourself can be quite hard but when you write it allows you to think about things. It makes your analysis and sees things maybe you might not instantly think of. Over time I have learned more about me through blogging and expanding areas of myself when I write.

Built an engagement.

Now, I am no great communicator but I will say that it has helped me get engaged with people. You may stumble across people that in normal life you would never have the opportunity to meet. Some bloggers make long-term friendship and think that is beautiful that something positive can come out of blogging.

Opens up to opportunities.

Blogging opens up to opportunities such as reviewing items or attending events. I am not the most successful blogger in this aspect but reading a lot of blogs if you are good at the social side of things then there are many doors that can be opened.

Make money.

Now, I have made the odd bit of money here and there which is fab as it has helped me when I really needed it. Some people can make a career out of blogging which I think is such an amazing opportunity to do something that you love.

Better writer.

As I have been blogging for a long period of time I feel that it has helped me be a better writer. I can write more words and can express myself better, which is always a positive.

Cheers for reading X

Long haul travel

Hey readers,

Are you looking for an easy way to plan a holiday somewhere far away but don’t know where to look or find out the right information. Well, you’re in look as Destination2: Holidays is the place to be as they are a company that provides luxury holiday destinations and specialises in long-haul travel. They provide the option of just the holiday or there is also the option of the holiday and travel so you can get all sorted in one click and cater to your budget. The holiday locations available are Europe, Carribean, Middle East, Indonesia, Malaysia, Indian Ocean, so there is plenty of choices to get the right place for your needs and desires.

Image result for destination 2 holidays

Destination 2 provides several types of packages depending on what your needs are and what kind of holiday you would like to have.   The types of accommodation are:

Honeymoon holidays – are focused on popular tourist destinations such as the Caribbean and beach type holiday.  However, they do also cater for adventure with trying out underwater diving for example or cityscapes where you can explore the architecture and popular markets.

Last minute deals – these are for people who may be at the last minute what to go away somewhere or trying to budget to there needs, this great option to bag yourself a bargain to somewhere beautiful in the world like Thailand or Maldives.

Adult only holidays –  if you want to relax with an adult company and a calmer environment and not have to worry about a noisy environment or someone kicking the ball over your head on a beach then do check out these type of packages.

Luxury all inclusive holidays – perfect if you want everything sorted and not have to worry about any the financial stress as inclusive holidays are covered for things like food, drink, and entertainment (cruises, table tennis etc).

Image result for destination 2 holidays

On the website there is a live web chat available to message, or you can email them personally and they also have a helpline and after service helpline that run during business hours to help with any worries and make planning a trip hassle-free so you have to worry about is what to back.

Image result for destination 2 holidays

With regards to the company themselves, they have been awarded five stars from test piolet. Destination 2 have also from 2011 – 2017 have won the global traveling award. Not to mention they have Atol protection so you have that can give you some security on how well the business is doing.

Thank you for reading X

This is a collaboration post with Destination 2. 

Singing

Hey readers,

my word of the week is:

this is becuase my son has spend a large proportion of his time at school and home practicing for his singing performance at school on Wednesday.

Due to his autism his anxiety was through the roof so we have been finding ways to calm that done. He loves the singing element. Thank goodness for YouTube for where he can listen to the song and practice at home.

In other good news he went to London on a school day tps and loved it. ever since he was he was younger he has been obsessed with London.

DS1 also receded his star of the week for reflectioning and looking back on how much he has improved over the school year.

DS2 had started his swimming lessons this week and it has really helped him with his confidence. He also went to his second induction for his new school which he is super excited when use his nursery friend that he plays with all the time is going to be in the same class.

I have been enjoying the cooler end of the week and to be finally getting to sleep at night after it being so muggy at the start.

Cheers for reading X

10 best life tips

Hey readers,

As we get older hopefully we learn and grow insight to improve as a person. I myself have learnt some things along the way on my journey through life and I thought I would share some of my best life tips.

1) This lesson IS difficult but if you learn to not be anger and put blame on people you will lead a more fruitful life. Life is a b*tch and there are some God awful people out there. I have experienced a fair few. But, once I learn to let go of that anger and just accept it, life is much more pleasent. I don’t forget the hurt by any stretch of the imagination. I just let go, untie it from my emotions. The more you hold on to the negative feels they will only fester and bring you down. The more that you don’t allow it to influence you means you can enjoy life better.

2) I know people go on about enjoying every second and you should be enjoying it. However, lets face it life is not like that. Don’t put these expectations on, just focus on not taking life too seriously, have a laugh and make happy memories.

3) I know it is cheesy with the whole idea of the power of positivity. I suffer depression but looking at one small thing a day no matter what it is can really help you. Even for example it is just getting out of bed or leaving the house, that is one step closer to helping yourself move forward.

4) Enjoy the outdoors and surround yourself with nature – it can really help physically and mentally. Plus it is free, so even if you have no money you can still go out and look at the trees.

5) If you can help people, karma and all that. Plus it is nice to just do something for someone.

6) Don’t compare yourself to other people, remember that we are all on our own journey. You don’t know what people are going through, you only see a section of that person especially if it is on social networks like Instagram. Never forget that comparison is the thieve of joy so instead of worrying about missing out, just focus on your self and what you are doing.

Image result for comparison is the thief of joy

7) Write down goals – small or big get them down physically on the paper and see where you can make improvements. Small steps lead to better destinations. It can help if you are in a negative frame of mind to work on something that you can focus but also check in each month to see how far you have progressed. This can help make it feel more real and concrete giving you that well earned boast that you deserve.

8) Make sure you get some sleep because it really does help give a clear mind to think.

9) If in doubt or you don’t want to do something, do micro tasks that lead to the bigger goal. This can help you feel less overwhelmed and in the long run be more productive.

10) Make sure you are on top of your emails. Go through them each day and delete the unnecessarily ones.

What life lessons have you learnt along the way of your journey?

Cheers for reading X

It’s all about the beats

Hey readers,

A great way to enjoy this summer heat is to get the headphones on and get walking. A fantastic heatphones set is Beats Studio 3 headphones. These beats are excellent because they offer noise cancellation which if you have never experienced it is a must. They really do help give a better audio experience when there is less external noise around therefore you can just a simply focus on listening to your music.

Beats by Dr Dre Studio 3 Wireless Matte Black Headphones (Image 1)

As you can tell they are large but that is the thing that makes Beats headphones appealing as they are made from soft cushioned ears to make them comfortable for long wearing periods. The ear cushions go over the ears which for me personally I prefer as they don’t hurt your ears because they don’t need to go inside the ear. The headphones themselves are a flexible fit meaning that you can adjust to your personal needs so that you are confident that you can get the right fit for you.

I like the fact that the headphones come in black colour as I like the subtle that it design brings. I think it is great not to just focus on the appearance and just go with the goal to escape from the world and just get the enjoyment from your music. The design of the headphones is lightweight, durable and comfortable so all you simply have to focus on is listening to your music.

They are wireless headphones so you don’t have to mess about with leads and they also come with a carry box to make them safe and secure when you are not using the headphones.

The manufacturers have said that the headphones have up to 22 hours of charge which means you can enjoy listening to your music throughout the day without the fear of needing to charge my headphones.

The headphones are compatible with iPhone.

Cheers for reading X

This is a collaboration with HMV. However, all opinions expressed are entirely my own.